Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.

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(562): View more from California

CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!

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(805): View more from California

IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!

(818): View more from California

A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?

(805): View more from California

CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT

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(970): View more from Colorado

She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.

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(979): View more from Texas

I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame

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(209): View more from California

You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures

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(574): View more from Indiana

i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.

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