Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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