Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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