TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
