Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
