I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i love accidental penises.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
