There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
