I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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