It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
