i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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