wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
