I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
