it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
