can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
