what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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