Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's never too late to be topless.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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