one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
