I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
false alarm, still single
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
