woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
