this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Damn victory sex feels great
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
