If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
