I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
