the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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