i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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