I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
