why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
