girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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