When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
