So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
you made out with another girl for some wings
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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