y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
