I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
