it wasn't lemon gatorade
only you would photoshop your dick
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
