I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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