I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
