i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
