My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
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