I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
