Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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