Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
