um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
