I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
