Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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