I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
