He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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