Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
