yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
