i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
