Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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