If i come over, it means nothing
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
