How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
