Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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